NEWS FLASH! DUST BOWL FLOODS!

July 17, 2013

CHEYENNE, OK - Rapid flooding swept over the plains of western Oklahoma this morning, as the United States' historic "Dust Bowl" transformed into a mucky claybed. Foolish Californians bore the brunt of the trauma, as one bleary-eyed San Diegan explains.

"Man I was like sleeping and then I woke up and then it was like, whoa my tent is squishy man. And then like I got out and the whole tent it like, went up and started floating. Dude, I've never slept on a water bed until like, last night!" Joel Kramer stammered.

Local residents were also on the scene, such as rancher Dale Pierce, whose neighbor had lost a cow to the nearby woods in the precipitous confusion. According to Mr. Pierce:

"Climate change." 

And more elaborately, "It hasn't rained here in 100 days, and now, in the middle of summer? Sho is strange. Creek's been dry e'ry summa since 2010 now. Fact is, last time we got storms like this was back in '88. Boy, you musta been a young thing then."

Black Kettle National Grassland in Western Oklahoma was the site of historic massacres by the U.S. Army of native plains Indian families. White settlers later took the fall when intense droughts turned their grassland farms and open skies into a snowglobe of black powder. Today, cattlemen like Pierce struggle with national entities like the Forest Service which claim access to waterways for ecological conservation. Wild hogs in the area mowed the forest to stubs, and a series of fires and droughts have ferried in the invasion of dryland mesquite shrubs.

With pots and plates on his car roof to catch washing water, the oblivious Kramer shares his wisdom, "Like - don't camp on clay where's it's all flat when you're like, next to a swamp. Yeah!"

 

Drenched marshland campsite pitched by none other than this foolish Californian